Monday, February 21, 2011

Amber- my forever dog.

Have any of you ever had a "forever dog"?

This is the animal that rides in your car to do errands with you, the one who you confide in, tell your problems to, is your best friend, playmate and psychiatrist all in one.  This is the dog who turns a horrible day into a fabulous day merely by greeting you with love an affection.  No matter how your day was, the minute you walk in the door, you are the most loved and important thing in the world!

I have had the joy of having a forever dog.  Some people are lucky and have more than one in their lifetime.  I have not been blessed in that way.  Now don't get me wrong, those of you who know me are aware that I currently have two dogs, and I do love them.  But they are not like my Amber.  

Amber was a dog who found me.  In 1992 I was stationed at a Reserve Center in Fayetteville, Arkansas.  I was outside taking a smoke break.....don't judge....we were all young and dumb once...... , and this cute little puppy runs up to me trailing a rope around her neck and jumps on my white skirt with muddy paws.  There were 4 of us outside.  Why she chose me????  It was love at first sight.  I had never even owned a dog in my life, but I decided that if nobody came to claim her by the end of the day I was going to take her home to care for her until her "real" owner showed up.

This was rural Arkansas collar.  Just a rope.  So I took her home, and within a week I decided she was mine. I named her Amber, and thus became a 15 year love affair.  We did everything together.  Ran errands, watched tv, went for walks, etc.  I was young and single, and Amber totally filled my heart!

She thought she was a lap dog, even after she turned into a 40 pound lab/pitt mix.  You could never convince that dog she did not belong in my lap cuddling.  She slept in my bed, and I even had an armchair that was "hers".

During our time together I moved to 6 states with her, drove across the country with her, got married, had two kids, got divorced, and she was with me through it all.  I knew I could always count on Amber for unconditional love and support.  

She got out of the yard one day, and was struck by a car.  She was about 9 or 10 years old at that time.  The emergency vet was sure she was going to die that night, and gave her drugs to make her comfortable.  He was shocked when Amber was making a strong recovery the next morning. I wasn't.  I knew what she was made of.  She did recover from that head injury, although she lost her right eye, and had ruptured her ear drum (she was struck in her head by the car).  She also had a new bump on her skull that wasn't there before, but she was happy, and loving just as before the accident.  She ran a bit crooked after that, but her injury never slowed her down.

Looking back on it, I do think it was that injury that eventually took her life, although I will never truly know.  One day she started walking in circles and had nystagmus of her eyes. I called the vet, who promptly sedated her and thought maybe she had some vertigo going on that was a temporary thing.  Amber was 14.5 years old.  She recovered, but started walking in circles again within a couple of weeks.  The vet decided she had a brain tumor and there wasn't anything we could do except make her comfortable.  She was too old for surgery, so we made her comfortable, and did the most humane thing, which was to gently put her to sleep.  We were all with her loving on her when she died.  Her head was in my lap, being covered with kisses by myself, my partner K, and our children. She was covered in a blanket to be kept warm, and we all laid our hands on her to comfort her while she gently passed to the Rainbow Bridge.

Amber was the best dog EVER!!!  She was an amazing friend and confidante!  She was my best friend.  She is missed tremendously, and I will never be able to love a dog quite the same way.  I can only wish that everyone can have a love experience like mine.  It was amazing!  Amber was amazing!!

Friday, February 4, 2011

New blog

Hello all.

Thank you so much for following my blog.  I have collaborated with my friend Susan.  I have moved to her blog.  You can now find me at:

Please read my new blog

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

A baby is is beautiful.....sweet....innocent...cuddly...endless possibilities are in the future for this tiny bundle of joy.  Parents coo, and tickle, they love and hug and endure the crying and diapers because this is their progeny.....the future of their existence......they are in love with this sweet thing, and promise to do anything in their power to care for, protect, love and nurture their cherub......
Z one week old
Have you looked at the faces of parents with a new baby?  Sure, they look tired, but they also look happy.  They have a glow.  They have a sweet baby they can pin their future hopes on.  That child can be anything...dream anything.  Those hopes show in the eyes a new parent
Z at age 5
Fast forward 13 years................. you first need to look at the face of a parent with a teenager. Notice the gray hairs...the haggard look on their face.....the glassy stare of their eyes....the glow has been replaced by a dull ashen look.  The creases around their mouths show you they can frown as much as they smile.  This is the face I see when I look in the mirror..... I live with three teenagers and a preteen....shoot me now....please

Gone are the dreams of what my child could be, only to be replaced by fears of this child never moving out......  I can tell you that I often wonder how in the world my 13 year old son Z will ever graduate 8th grade.  He doesn't turn in his homework, and his grades suffer for it.  Now mind you, Z does his homework.  He completes it with beautiful penmanship even.  He completes his homework and it goes to school with him.  It gets placed in his locker, and there it sits.  I have threatened Z.  I have bribed him, cajoled him, and cried.....nothing works. Short of following the kid from his locker to every class, I fear I am doomed to the role of nagging mother.  All because of his inability to take the paper out of his locker and put it in the teacher's hand.
Z age 13

Maybe I should go back to the days of pinning his homework to his shirt.  Do you think that might work?  It might however, since having something pinned to his shirt would reduce his "cool points", I am SURE that would never happen!!

I like to look at baby pictures of my Z.  I like to look at pictures of me back then....yes I looked tired, but I also had a glow to my face.   I can only hope that as Z gets older he will begin to become the man I envisioned the day I first laid eyes on him....but ONLY if he turns in his homework......sheesh......