The glass half full

Amber- my forever dog.

2011-02-21T19:55:00.000-05:00

Have any of you ever had a "forever dog"?

This is the animal that rides in your car to do errands with you, the one who you confide in, tell your problems to, is your best friend, playmate and psychiatrist all in one. This is the dog who turns a horrible day into a fabulous day merely by greeting you with love an affection. No matter how your day was, the minute you walk in the door, you are the most loved and important thing in the world!

I have had the joy of having a forever dog. Some people are lucky and have more than one in their lifetime. I have not been blessed in that way. Now don't get me wrong, those of you who know me are aware that I currently have two dogs, and I do love them. But they are not like my Amber.

Amber was a dog who found me. In 1992 I was stationed at a Reserve Center in Fayetteville, Arkansas. I was outside taking a smoke break.....don't judge....we were all young and dumb once...... , and this cute little puppy runs up to me trailing a rope around her neck and jumps on my white skirt with muddy paws. There were 4 of us outside. Why she chose me???? It was love at first sight. I had never even owned a dog in my life, but I decided that if nobody came to claim her by the end of the day I was going to take her home to care for her until her "real" owner showed up.

This was rural Arkansas folks....no chips...no tags...no collar. Just a rope. So I took her home, and within a week I decided she was mine. I named her Amber, and thus became a 15 year love affair. We did everything together. Ran errands, watched tv, went for walks, etc. I was young and single, and Amber totally filled my heart!

She thought she was a lap dog, even after she turned into a 40 pound lab/pitt mix. You could never convince that dog she did not belong in my lap cuddling. She slept in my bed, and I even had an armchair that was "hers".

During our time together I moved to 6 states with her, drove across the country with her, got married, had two kids, got divorced, and she was with me through it all. I knew I could always count on Amber for unconditional love and support.

She got out of the yard one day, and was struck by a car. She was about 9 or 10 years old at that time. The emergency vet was sure she was going to die that night, and gave her drugs to make her comfortable. He was shocked when Amber was making a strong recovery the next morning. I wasn't. I knew what she was made of. She did recover from that head injury, although she lost her right eye, and had ruptured her ear drum (she was struck in her head by the car). She also had a new bump on her skull that wasn't there before, but she was happy, and loving just as before the accident. She ran a bit crooked after that, but her injury never slowed her down.

Looking back on it, I do think it was that injury that eventually took her life, although I will never truly know. One day she started walking in circles and had nystagmus of her eyes. I called the vet, who promptly sedated her and thought maybe she had some vertigo going on that was a temporary thing. Amber was 14.5 years old. She recovered, but started walking in circles again within a couple of weeks. The vet decided she had a brain tumor and there wasn't anything we could do except make her comfortable. She was too old for surgery, so we made her comfortable, and did the most humane thing, which was to gently put her to sleep. We were all with her loving on her when she died. Her head was in my lap, being covered with kisses by myself, my partner K, and our children. She was covered in a blanket to be kept warm, and we all laid our hands on her to comfort her while she gently passed to the Rainbow Bridge.

Amber was the best dog EVER!!! She was an amazing friend and confidante! She was my best friend. She is missed tremendously, and I will never be able to love a dog quite the same way. I can only wish that everyone can have a love experience like mine. It was amazing! Amber was amazing!!

New blog

2011-02-04T20:59:00.001-05:00

Hello all.

Thank you so much for following my blog. I have collaborated with my friend Susan. I have moved to her blog. You can now find me at:

Please read my new blog

2011-01-19T19:33:00.000-05:00

A baby is born.....it is beautiful.....sweet....innocent...cuddly...endless possibilities are in the future for this tiny bundle of joy. Parents coo, and tickle, they love and hug and endure the crying and diapers because this is their progeny.....the future of their existence......they are in love with this sweet thing, and promise to do anything in their power to care for, protect, love and nurture their cherub......

Z one week old

Have you looked at the faces of parents with a new baby? Sure, they look tired, but they also look happy. They have a glow. They have a sweet baby they can pin their future hopes on. That child can be anything...do anything...dream anything. Those hopes show in the eyes a new parent

Z at age 5

Fast forward 13 years................. you first need to look at the face of a parent with a teenager. Notice the gray hairs...the haggard look on their face.....the glassy stare of their eyes....the glow has been replaced by a dull ashen look. The creases around their mouths show you they can frown as much as they smile. This is the face I see when I look in the mirror..... I live with three teenagers and a preteen....shoot me now....please

Gone are the dreams of what my child could be, only to be replaced by fears of this child never moving out...... I can tell you that I often wonder how in the world my 13 year old son Z will ever graduate 8th grade. He doesn't turn in his homework, and his grades suffer for it. Now mind you, Z does his homework. He completes it with beautiful penmanship even. He completes his homework and it goes to school with him. It gets placed in his locker, and there it sits. I have threatened Z. I have bribed him, cajoled him, and cried.....nothing works. Short of following the kid from his locker to every class, I fear I am doomed to the role of nagging mother. All because of his inability to take the paper out of his locker and put it in the teacher's hand.

Z age 13

Maybe I should go back to the days of pinning his homework to his shirt. Do you think that might work? It might however, since having something pinned to his shirt would reduce his "cool points", I am SURE that would never happen!!

I like to look at baby pictures of my Z. I like to look at pictures of me back then....yes I looked tired, but I also had a glow to my face. I can only hope that as Z gets older he will begin to become the man I envisioned the day I first laid eyes on him....but ONLY if he turns in his homework......sheesh......

Pre Holiday shopping!

2010-11-25T00:13:00.003-05:00

The stores were crazy today. The grocery stores I mean.

I tried to get all of my shopping done early, but inevitably there are always a few things we miss, so off to the grocery store we went. It was not too bad before noon, but man oh man, after 12:00 the roads and stores were getting wild. People not pay9ing attention while driving, in a hurry to get somewhere, etc. Road rage was rampant, and the grocery stores were packed.

I am very fortunate that I was able to stay home this afternoon, while my partner hunted for candy corn for our Turkeys to no avail. There was no candy corn to be found, so we will have to make featherless oreo turkeys tomorrow. I bet they all get eaten, even without feathers.

So it is bedtime for me, so I can get some rest before my 6 am wake up call to start baking yeast rolls and cinnamon rolls.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

Will I continue?

2010-11-24T00:00:00.002-05:00

So we are winding down to the final days of NaBloPoMo. I have only missed two days of blogging this month. I have had lots of great feedback. AND I have really enjoyed blogging. It is "cheap therapy" as some of my friends put it.

The questions is, will I continue. They say if you do something continually for 30 days it becomes a habit. I don;t know if I will blog every day from now on, but I have noticed that during the day while doing my errands, or sitting at my computer or working when I have an interesting idea, the next thought is : "I should blog about that."

I guess we will have to wait and see if a habit was formed.

Turkey Day Treats!!

2010-11-22T23:14:00.000-05:00

While the adults (some of us) are watching football, the other adults are going to help the kids make these yummy treats:

You will need the following:

Double Stuff Oreos (2 per turkey)
Small Reeses' Peanut Butter Cups (1)
Whoppers (1)
Candy Corn
White Frosting
Black Frosting

First place your peanut butter cups in the fridge. They will cut cleaner cold. Then take an Oreo and carefully separate one of the cookies from the frosting. Gently press the pointed tips of 6 candy corns around one half of the Oreo. Take some white frosting and cover the frosting and re-attach the cookie.

Now, take the second oreo and lay it flat on the table. Pick up your Oreo with the candy corn and put some icing on the bottom of the oreo opposite from the candy corn and attach the Oreo onto the flat oreo so that it is on the back half. Prop the stuck together Oreos against a book or a wall to hold it up while the icing dries. If it does not stand up well, add some more icing.

Now take a cold peanut butter cup and cut a small section off of it so that it will have a flat side. Place some frosting on the flat section and the top of the peanut butter cup and attach it to the Oreo with the candy corn so that it becomes the body of the turkey.

Take the Whopper and put icing on the back side of it. Attach it so that it is right on top of the peanut butter cup and iced to the Oreo and Whopper. Add two drops of white icing for the eyes and a smaller drop of the black for the pupil.

For the wings, I cut the very tip of a candy corn and glued a wing on both sides of the peanut butter cup. For the feet, you can use the same tip you cut off when making your wings. Let dry for about 20 minutes before handling.

These would be so cute to give to a friend, child or neighbor. They would also be really cute holding a name place card for your Thanksgiving Dinner. You could just put the name card behind the candy corn on the top of the turkey. So cute and easy!

Random

2010-11-21T23:09:00.001-05:00

So I like blogging. It is a way to get random things out of my mind. To write about mundane, ordinary things that I think many of us experience. I started blogging in earnest last November during NaBloPoMo when my friend Patti told me about it. My brother had died just a few months prior to that (April 14, 2009), and I was still in deep grief. Blogging helped me have a safe place I could write about what I was feeling. If anyone read it, that was fine, but it was for me, not for anyone else.

I have blogged about Brian a few times, my friends a few times, but mostly my blogging is just random. I sit in front of my computer and try to think about something to write. My wise friend Patti says I could try taking a shower or going for a drive. Usually random thoughts will come to you during those moments of solitude, and give you something to write about.

I have an ADHD brain, so there are always lots of thoughts in there, but sometimes I cannot latch onto just one. Even as I am typing now, I keep thinking of random things that pop into my mind. Maybe one day I will just type the thoughts that pop into my head. My brain can be a scary place, and the random things that float around in there may surprise you. Then again, maybe other people's brains work like that too. I can only inhabit mine, so I don't know how other brains work.

Last night when K was coming home from picking her daughter up from work, she said there was a bad one car accident on Respass beach road. She said the ambulance on the scene had put down flares in the Northern Shores Elementary School parking lot to mark a helipad for a life flight. Sure enough within 5 minutes we heard the helicopter approaching and watched it land in the school parking lot. About 10 minutes later it took off, and headed in the direction of Norfolk, I assume to Sentara Hospital. We didn't see anything about it in the news today, so I wonder what happened. If anyone knows anything, please let me know.

My chosen family

2010-11-21T00:47:00.002-05:00

So my amazing friend Melissa H will have a birthday on Wednesday so we took her out for her birthday. By we I mean the wonderful people who have become like family to me. A.F., S.F., J.H., N.H., R.M., M.M., M.R., J.R., C.T., D.T. and of course the birthday girl and her man M.H. and N.H.

We moved into our neighborhood in June 2006. We did not know anybody in the neighborhood. We didn't know anyone in Suffolk for that matter. My partner K and I bought a house together and blended our families to make one family. We were the only two mom family that we knew, and we were definitely the only blended two mom family we knew of. We met S and A (with their two adorable twins) for dinner, and then we knew another two mom blended family. They were well established in our neighborhood and we have always felt indebted to them for "paving the way" in our neighborhood and local Elementary school.

S. and A. invited us oi a party at their house, and through them we met MR. and JR., and JH and NH. They accepted us without question, and we felt like we were immediately accepted into their fold. Through J&N we met MH and NH when they moved back to the neighborhood, and through MR and JR we met MM and RM. AF and SF 's son M was friends with CT and DT's son T and our son B became friends with those two boys.

Through the get togethers at A&S's house a family was made. There are 7 families in this tight knit group, with a total of 21 children ranging in age from 18 to 3. We see each other at least monthly, usually to celebrate birthdays!

It started out as family gatherings where we always had all the children with us. However, the children have gotten older over the past four years, (as children do), and now the older ones can babysit for the younger ones, and we have started having outings with adults only.

These are the people I choose to share my life with, my children with. We laugh together and cry together. We are helping each other raise our children. We complain about our spouses and toast their accomplishments. Some of the friendships within the group span decades, and some are more recent, but whenever we get together it is a wonderful time filled with love and joy.

We are born into a family, which we do not get to choose, and they are our family for life. Most of them we love, some we do not, but we are stuck with them like it or not.

However, sometimes in life we are blessed with amazing friends who become our family and this is the family we choose. We surround ourselves with their love, compassion, wisdom, and sorrows. We swap recipes, hand me down clothing and sometimes our kids. We support each other through good times and bad, and we love each other enough to be honest, even when it hurts.

I am the most blessed because I have these amazing men and women in my life. Thank you Melissa, Nelson, Angie, Sammy, Joell, Neil, Rikki, Merle, Charlene, David, Mindy and Jay for sharing the journey with me. You all are amazing people, and I love you all tremendously!! And especially thank you to my beautiful K for being the most amazing, loving, considerate, thoughtful, forgiving, and wonderful person I could ever hope to share my life with!!

Amish Friendship bread

2010-11-18T22:49:00.001-05:00

I was too tired to blog last night, and I am so tired tonight.

It would be easy to say, hey I missed last night, so why keep going> Why keep blogging,? I am running out of ideas anyway.

But I shall persevere and blog anyway.
Tonight my friend Jenesci came over to help me bake Amish Friendship bread. I am baking bread to sell at a church Bazaar in December, and to give to teachers and friends for Holiday gifts. Tonight we made pumpkin cream cheese. It is a pumpkin bread with a cream cheese filling.

Tomorrow we need to finish the dough from today. I think we will make vanilla, vanilla with Chocolate chips and maybe some chocolate and double chocolate.

I used to make mini loaves and large loaves, but the large loaves never really sold, and the minis are the big seller, so we are going to make minis. I did make my partner a batch of pumpkin cream cheese muffins also. (that will save on the Starbucks bill). lol

If anyone is interested in purchasing any of the loaves, just let me know. I sell them for $3.00 each or 3 for $5.00. I can deliver locally to your home, or ship at your cost. The available flavors are:

Pumpkin
Pumpkin with Cream cheese filling
Chocolate
Choc with choc chips
Vanilla
Vanilla with choc chips
Banana
Banana with choc chips
Lemon
Pistachio
Cheesecake bread

I think that is all the kinds I usually make.

Do whales need sunscreen?

2010-11-16T20:59:00.000-05:00

I had to blog for my Biology 101 lab today.
This is what I blogged:

Research published in the "Proceedings of the Royal Society B" this week shows that whales exhibit skin damage that is the same as acute sunburn in humans. The research also shows that this skin damage from the sun is getting worse over time.

Scientists from Britain have been studying the effects of the sun on blue whales, fin whales and sperm whales in the Gulf of California. They are trying to determine how rising levels of Ultraviolet Radiation (UVR) arer affecting the whales.

It is possible that the depletion of the ozone levels, or a change in cloud cover is to blame for the rising UVR index, and the blisters that are appearing on the skin of the whales.

The scientists also found that sun damage was worse in the paler skinned blue whales, compared to that of the darker skinned whales.

The next phase of their research will examine the genes, and see if the whales genetic makeup is evolving to respond to the sun damage by increasing their natural sun protection mechanisms.

I think this research is important because as with humans, sun damage can lead to skin cancer, most of which is not lethal, however it can be unsightly and painful. Melanoma of course is a deadly form of skin cancer caused by sun damage to the skin. Whales are an important part of the Earth's Ecosystem, and protecting them in all ways is important.

Bloggers Block

2010-11-14T23:51:00.002-05:00

So I have only missed one day of blogging. I am starting to have bloggers block. I am running out of things to blog about. I feel very boring today. I am very tired. If you are wondering why, read my blog from yesterday. I only had a few hours to myself this weekend. It seems like I spent more time in my car going from event to event, than I spent at home.

Guitar lessons, church events, working, C.A.R. meeting, church, bean soup sale, Mentor lunch.....I think that is it. No Boy Scout camping events this weekend. Oh I forgot school. How could I forget the Philosophy class I hate so much??? Maybe the hate moved me towards forgetfulness.

So I am hoping I have something more interesting to write about tomorrow.

Sickly....

2010-11-13T00:23:00.002-05:00

I was really not feeling well today. I went to dinner at Olive Garden last night, and felt fine. About 3 hours after dinner, I felt bloated and queasy. When I went to bed I had heartburn all night, and felt like my stomach was full.
I took a prilosec at about 4 am, but still had heartburn. I woke up feeling full and queasy, and felt that way almost all day.

I thought maybe it was the food, but came to realize I must have a bug of some kind. I took a long nap this afternoon, and woke up feeling as though I could sleep 4 more hours.

Not to be. I had lots of things to do for both of my jobs, and it couldn't wait, so I sucked it up and sent emails, called patients, worked on Excel spreadsheets etc.

Now that the work is done, I am feeling a bit better, but I am going to go back to bed because tomorrow is a VERY full day, and I don't have time for illness.

This makes me go "Hmmmmmmm"

2010-11-11T00:26:00.002-05:00

Not much to write about today. It was busy and boring. I worked, and worked, and took my kid to acting class, did some homework, ate dinner, played on the computer.

See nada exciting. Wait, there was one thing that piqued my curiosity...something that made me go "Hmmmmm"...

My 13 year old. He makes me go Hmmmm frequently. 13 is a tough age. Too old to be a baby, too young to get to do much, just right at the verge of major teenaged angst....a difficult tine for kids and their adults.

So my 8th grade 13 year old has this problem with his homework. Now before you go jumping to any conclusions, I will tell you that he DOES his homework. He does it on time, he does it well, and he writes so beautifully. So what is the problem you ask??? Well, the problem is my 13 year old 8th grader NEVER turns it in to the teachers!!!!!

I have had to threaten him on more than one occasion to show up at school, and help him clean out his locker to find his papers. That always does the trick. Can you imagine the horror and utter dread my kid has that his MOTHER might show up at school?? GOD FORBID!! I am like his teddy bear.... loved but best hidden in the public eye. (and for those of you who might read this and know my kid, he does not have a teddy bear). I will deny deny deny...

I am hoping that all of my yelling until I am hoarse will have a positive impact on something other than my doctr bill, and he will get his head screwed on straight and do better next semester at school. We shall see.

I may just show up at school just because. Do youthink I should show up in my slippers with curlers in my hair? Or nasty sweat oants and my makeup smeared? Which will mortify the kid the most??

Just sayin'......

School Days

2010-11-07T23:52:00.002-05:00

So I decided to go back to college this past August. I tried to get into Old Dominion University, but I started the process late in the game, and could not get all of my transcripts there in time. Not to be defeated, I was able to enroll in Tidewater Community College, and get started in classes.

I decided to take Biology 101 with a lab and Philosophy 101. I thought to myself...Philosophy...how hard can that be...I should be able to ace that class.

Was I about to be surprised!! Philosophy is HARD!! It s kicking my butt!! I read the textbook, and listen to the recorded lecture done by my professor, but when I go to take my weekly online quiz I do horribly. I really think it is because the questions are in the double negative alot, and they confuse me. I understand the concepts, and sort of enjoy the class, but those quizzes do me in every week. I will be stoked if I get a "C" in the class. It will bring down my GPA, but at least I won't have to pay an money back to the VA.

Speaking of which I am using my Post 911 G.I. Bill money to go to school. That is an amazing program. I want to thank Senator Jim Webb for working so had to get that passed. I take online classes and the VA pays for my tuition and gives me a monthly stipend. I will get that for 36 months of school. That should be enough to finish my bachelor's degree.

I am doing well in my Biology class and my Biology Lab, but that darn Philosophy class is killing me. No more philosophy for me. I only have a few more weeks and I will be done with it thank goodness.

Next semester I think I will take Anatomy & Physiology, as well as a math class. Hopefully I can transfer to ODU in the fall of 2011, to complete my degree. Psychology Major and Women's Studies minor.

Does it count??

2010-11-06T00:40:00.001-04:00

So does it still count if it is not midnight in the central time zone yet? And what about tomorrow when we set back our clocks?

Can I blog one minute after we set back the clocks? Will the time fly back an hour so it will actually be 59 minutes before the deadline??

So many questions! So much confusion. Could I have blogged by 12:00 am tonight? Probably, but I had a date, and that took precedence. I guess I could have blogged earlier in the evening, but I had to make an unexpected trip to Norfolk Naval Base to help a friend, and then I wanted to spend some time with a fabulous young lady for some girl time. I don't have any daughters of my own, so I borrow one now and then from a friend. :-)

So the bottom line is I missed my 12:00 am deadline to blog on November 5th. I guess I am just going to ignore that failure and try to blog every day for the month of November regardless of this hiccup.
I know you are all waiting with bated breath for my next blog, and are on the edge of your seat with anticipation about the question of the missing Halloween candy....

It really must have been Not Me, or I didn't do it that is the culprit because the candy has still not been found ANYWHERE. I wonder if my kids' school friends got to enjoy the candy. Was it passed out there? Who knows?? Oh I know who knows.....Not Me, that's who.

The case of the Missing Halloween candy.......

2010-11-04T21:07:00.002-04:00

So my 11 year old went trick-or treating on Halloween night. He is the youngest of 4 siblings, and the only one young enough to still go get candy. We actually have a law in our town that makes it illegal to trick-or treat after age 12.

So anyway, the boy put in his costume, and went around the neighborhood looking for some tasty treats.

He came home with his pillow case of candy, and started to evenly divide it in 5 groups, one for each of his sibs, himself, and me. :-)

Today I couldn't find my candy bag. All of the kids have finished their candy, and mine was not yet touched. It somehow mysteriously disappeared from my bedroom today.

Of course each one of my kids has denied taking the bag o' yummies, but I don't believe them. tomorrow a comprehensive exhausting search will ensue, and the jury of his or her peers will decide what happens to the one found guilty of the pilfering.

Stay tuned....this is not over yet.....

Sick of drama

2010-11-02T16:55:00.002-04:00

So I live in a house with my partner, 4 kids, 5 animals and a 18 year old. My 18 year old Step daughter thinks it is okay to treat us however she chooses (usually badly), and not do chores, or help out in any way. She is still in high school, so there is no option of helping her to move out on her own at this time
Sometimes I think she thinks she is a fairy princess and we are her slaves. It is our duty to provide food, shelter, electricity, heat, air conditioning, cable and internet for her pleasure. We are to do all of the household chores for her, and let her come and go as she pleases. And because we are such loyal slaves, she will occasionally bestow a smile or a than you upon us which we are to eagerly and gratefully accept, much like a starving dog accepts a bone.
She will usually speak to her mother in a snotty surly tone, but every now and then she will be kind and there is a glimpse of that sweet little girl with the sparkling eyes, quick laugh and happy smile. Those glimpses are few and far between these days, and we grow weary waiting for them.
People say, "oh, that is just how teenagers are". I refuse to accept that. I have three other kids that live in my house. They don't act as if the world owes them something. They do chores and happily participate in our family.

So the bottom line is I have to wait until July 2011 to help her move out on her own, and then my partner will spend months holding her daughter's hand as she navigates the world on adult terms. We try to teach her now while she still lives in our home, but she refuses to learn anything. We are stupid, and don't know anything. so we have nothing of value to teach her.

I suppose this too shall come to be a distant memory, but while living with it, life is difficult at best. I take comfort in the fact that we are not the only parent that have ever had to deal with issues like this, and we will survive.

NABLOPOMO

2010-11-01T22:57:00.001-04:00

Okay, so I attempted this last year. You know the National Blog Posting Month---which is what the rest of us refer to as November.

I tried this last year, but I missed a day or two, and then it was all she wrote, I was no longer eligible to win a prize. And I was done. After all, if you can't win a prize, what is the point of blogging every day??

I blogged alot more last year. I blogged before the month of November, but not so much since then. I have had LOTS of interesting things happen to me, but I guess I haven't really felt like blogging much. So today begins my journey into the world of blog for a month. A world of trying to be witty, or funny, or interesting or informative. Hopefully. I guess some blogs will just be plain boring. Sorry.

Today is the first. Welcome to Carol's NABLOPOMO>>> :-)

Words from my friend P.

2010-02-19T14:18:00.000-05:00

I SHALL PASS THROUGH THIS WORLD BUT ONCE. ANY GOOD THAT I CAN DO OR ANY KINDESS THAT I CAN SHOW TO ANY HUMAN BEING LET ME DO IT NOW. LET ME NOT DEFER OR NEGLECT IT, FOR I SHALL NOT PASS THIS WAY AGAIN.

My friend P. sent that to me. I like it. I would like to live that way. I try. I am not always successful.

More blogging soon. Now I am wiped out emotionally. My kids will be home from school soon. They deserve a mother who is available to them. Available physically. Available mentally. Available emotionally. Every kid deserves no less. I need to get ready to receive them with unconditional love.

Nor'easter

2009-11-12T21:19:00.000-05:00

Not much to blog about today. Nothing exciting or interesting happened. The kids were out of school today.

We have a terrible Nor'Easter coming through town. Winds whipping at 50-60 mph, tons of rain, coastal flooding. Good times.

School is out tomorrow too. What am I going to do with these kids???

Maybe the kids being home for three days in a row will induce an interesting blog tomorrow. One can only hope.

Biscuits all the way, baby!

2009-11-11T21:23:00.000-05:00

So, I joined a gym. Again. K and I can't join the YMCA as a "family" even though we are in the same household. Now, before you cry "foul", you need to know that you can't join the YMCA (at least here in Southeastern Virginia) as a family if you are a man and a woman who live together but are not married. So they do not discriminate on the basis of same genderness, but on the basis of unmarriedness. So, we joined a local gym.

My boys want to start working out. They want to lift weights. They want to be macho. They want a "6 pack." They are 14, 12 and 10. The only 6 pack they need at their ages is a 6 pack of juicy juice. But they say "mooooom, we want to have big muscles." I assume it is for the benefit of the middle and high school girls they believe will fall over and swoon in their 6 pack presence.

I am perpetually chubby. Have been for decades. I am sure I will continue to be. However, to me there is a difference between being chubby and healthy and being chubby, and well, just chubby. So to that end, I try to work out, but something always gets in the way. Work, kids, dinner, life. Well, now my checkbook is holding me accountable. I pay, and I don't want to waste my money, so off to the gym I will go.

Tonight was the first night we went, (we just joined on Friday evening), and with Scouts on Monday and Tuesday, today was the day. Knowing this morning that we were going to the gym, and I had to work this afternoon, I put some chicken in the crockpot with low sodium, chicken pot pie soup, and a can of fat free cream of chicken soup. Veggies rounded out the meal.

So to the gym we went. I did 30 minutes on a cardio machine and 20 minutes on weights. the 14 year old and 12 year old worked with a trainer so they could be taught how much weight is appropriate for their age and physical maturity level. The 10 year old played with legos. We worked out, we sweated, we learned, we conquered.

On the way home, I asked the 12 year old if he wanted pasta (which is low fat, multigrain and healthy) with the crock pot chicken, or should we stop at the local grocery store and get some biscuits.

His answer was "Biscuits all the way, baby." Now that is a kid after my own heart. :-)

blog??

2009-11-10T22:50:00.000-05:00

So my friend Patti says to me, "Hey, since you blog, why don't you do NaBloPoMo?" "Sure", I say, "seems harmless enough." BAH!......FEH! Now I have to think of witty things to say every day for a month.....

I try to be entertaining in my blog, or at the very least interesting. But today, I just don't have it in me. Nothing interesting to say. Nothing interesting happening. Just the usual daily grind...kids having a busy social life and needing to be taken everywhere, (their social life is busier than mine), grocery shopping, (LOVE my Harris Teeter, I have saved over $1000.00 in 6 months), cooking dinner, (spaghetti for the kids, chicken primavera for me and Karol), taking the car to the shop, the cat to the vet, and washing dishes.

The life of a typical suburban mom....although I am not a housewife... HA!

So a typical day...boring......busy..full of life and love.

Waiting for the chimney sweep

2009-11-09T11:14:00.000-05:00

Yes, they do still exist. :-) When we moved into our house three years ago, I was delighted that we had a fireplace. I prefer a gas fireplace, but wood burning was okay. I had visions of cozy fires and heat radiating through the room as the family gathered to watch a movie together or play a board game....

The first winter I started a fire, and calmly watched smoke fill the room. The flue was open, the wood was seasoned...what was the problem?? I opened the windows, got out the smoke, and promptly put furniture in front of the fireplace and vowed never to use it again.

Well, the kids are growing up, and as they become more independent and have fewer weekend nights home with mom, nostalgia moved me to call a chimney sweep to check out the fireplace in hopes of using it this winter.

So I am waiting for him to show up so I can try to live my dream of the family gathered around the fire cozily watching a movie or playing a game, or enjoying time together. If I can get them to stay home with mom.....

It all begins with the children.

2009-11-08T23:24:00.000-05:00

I was hoping that when I sat down to write tonight that a blog would just pour out of me...unfortunately that was not to be. I sat and sat, and mulled and mulled. My mind kept going back to the Children's Worship I did at church today, and how meaningful it was to me and many others.

I have been a member of many different faith groups throughout my life. Jewish (by birth), Church of Christ (by marriage), and now I am a member of a Unitarian Universalist church (by choice). I hold strong to my Jewish heritage, and usually refer to myself as a "Jewnitarian".

Today in church we had a service to honor Veterans. This in and of itself it not so unusual, although many Unitarians are strong pacifists, the church I belong to has a great many military personnel who are members. We have members who are on Active Duty, Reservists, Veterans and Retirees. They cover all the branches. We have storekeepers, CB's, doctors, musicians, lawyers, mechanics, and many others. We live in Southeastern Virginia which has a strong military presence.

So today I was the one doing a 10 minute childrens worship prior to the kids going off to classes. I wanted to point out to them how our military personnel help children all over the world and that as soldiers, sailors, airmen and marines we take our Unitarian Principles with us as we deploy and use them for the betterment of mankind whenever we are able.

I read to them our 1st, 2nd and 6th Unitarian Universalist principles, which are:
1. The inherent dignity and worth of every person.
2. Justice, equity and compassion in human relations.
6. The goal of world community with peace, justice, and liberty for all.

I told them that kids in other countries do the same things they do....drink water...eat dinner....go to the doctor....go to school....have stories read to them....eat candy...and enjoy hanging out with friends and loved ones. Then I showed them some of these pictures:

So they could see military personnel doing things with children around the world just like the things they do here.

It is important to remember all of the WONDERFUL things our troops do while deployed. That is a story not often told. Carnage is easy to write about and focus on. The quiet determination of our troops to do their jobs AND make the world a better place is seen less often.

When you see a vet please say "Thank you" for doing their part to make the world a better place. Thank them for their service to our country. And tell your children about the great things they do. Share photos like this with your children.

It all begins with the children.....

Longing for peace.....

2009-11-07T14:37:00.000-05:00

I really don't have much to blog about today. Because this week my life was full of stress. Too many commitments....... too many kids' activities............ to many places to be at the same time................ sick animals............... sick kids............too many jobs...........too many dirty clothes, dishes, floors.

I stay at home part time. I no longer work full time outside the home, but I have replaced that with 4 part time jobs to equal the income. 2 of those jobs I work from home and 2 I have to leave the house. In addition I bake bread and sell it at craft fairs. Does that count as job 5??

I have a kid in Cub Scouts, a kid in Boy Scouts, and I volunteer in both.

It is such a joy when/if I ever get a day to myself. I like to sit in the house when everyone is gone and the animals are sleeping. It is so quiet in the house and I enjoy just listening to the quiet. When everyone is home, it is so hectic and busy...I long for the peace.

Peace is good.

Bread

2009-11-06T22:03:00.001-05:00

Bread....the food of life. It is a staple in my house....we eat some pretty much every day. Oat nut, whole grain, whole grain white, whole wheat, pumpernickel, sourdough...you name it, we love it all. But that is not the bread I was thinking about when thinking about what to blog about today. I was thinking of friendship bread.

Friendship bread, you know, that stuff your friend gives you in a baggie "this is a starter", and then hands you a baggie of goopy looking white stuff with a sheet of instructions. She says "this stuff is really good, you have GOT to try it". That is really friend code for "I got this crap from someone and I don't know what I am going to do with it, so I am passing it on to you...." Or something to that effect.

That is how my foray into friendship bread began. You see the dough you start with is just a small bit of the dough you end with. You have to "feed" the goopy stuff in the baggie, and smoosh it...daily. Then you divide it into other baggies to give to your friends, and keep some to bake. Now I must admit, the stuff is delicious. We love it at my house. I have actually never met anyone who didn't like it when they try it, but I digress.

So, I got this starter from my friend, and I made some. But rather than divide it up and give it to more friends, I made it all, and decided to give it to my kids' teachers and our friends for holiday treats. I wrapped it in pretty cellophane with ribbons, and put it in bags, and gifted it. Everyone raved!! You see, I didn't make the boring old friendship cinnamon type bread, I got creative. I made vanilla, then vanilla with chocolate chips. Chocolate and double chocolate. Banana, and banana with chocolate chips. I was experimenting, and my friends and family loved it.

Then I got the bright idea to sell it at Bazaars and Craft Shows. I made large and small loaves. I sold the large for $5.00 each and the minis for $2.00 each or 3 for $5.00. I almost sold out completely at the first show. I was hooked!

So now I bake in the fall, and sell in the holiday season. I have experimented with even more flavors and now also make pumpkin bread with a delicious cream cheese filling. That is very popular.

My little hobby is not very lucrative. But it is enjoyable and satisfies the creative art of my being. Plus my kids LOVE it when i make muffins! My friends now look forward to receiving gifts from me at the holidays, as does the mailman, the Schwan's man and the kids' teachers.

How grief works......

2009-11-04T09:11:00.003-05:00

This blog has ben a long time in the making...in my mind. Frankly I haven't blogged in MONTHS because this was the blog I have wanted to write, and I just haven't been able to until now. I am hoping I make it through the writing.

On April 14, 2009, my younger brother Brian died from a heart attack. Technically he had "coronary artery disease", but it was his heart that stopped working, so I call it a heart attack.

I was surprised when my mother called, and knew something was wrong, but frankly I thought the bad news was going to be about my father, not my 39 year old brother.

Brian and I hadn't spoken in a couple of years. We had somewhat of a falling out over my life choices, but on the positive note, our last conversation was not shouting or yelling, it was simply a disagreement, and my last words to my brother were: "I am sorry you feel that way. I love you and when you are ready to have a loving relationship with me I am here waiting and ready for you." I feel truly blessed that I had the presence of mind to say those words to him before we hung up. I cannot imagine the guilt I would still be feeling if I had yelled, or said something ugly or mean to him and then never had the chance to apologize. After all, who expects a 39 year old man to die??? Who expects to never talk to a family member again after an argument???

I never really thought about spirits before Brian died. The day he died and for a few days after, it felt as though he were here in my house with me. It was a peaceful and calming feeling. I felt love and acceptance from him. It was as if he was saying he was sorry that we had an argument and he loved me. It is hard to explain unless you have felt it yourself.

Sadly, my brother left two teenage sons behind, and he adored them. Another lesson I have learned from his death is to make sure those we love KNOW we love them. Don't assume your loved ones "just know" you love them, tell them, and do it often. His boys know how much their dad loved them. He told them and he showed them in his actions and sacrifices.

Facebook became helpful right after Brian died. I used it to reach out to his friends to tell them of Brian's death. It was comforting to me to realize how many people loved him. And why not, he was sweet and funny! He was a good man!

In May we all gathered at my parents house in Florida to bury Brian's cremains and have a funeral service. All of Brian's nieces and nephews were there, as well as his sons. It was wonderful to all be together, although the reason we were there was so incredibly sad.

The military service was beautiful, (Brian was an AO3 in the Navy), and the bugle and rifles sent chills up my spine, and made me cry. It was surreal.

I had never experienced grief before. No one close to me had ever died. I wasn't close to my grandparents, although the death of my maternal grandfather saddened me quite a bit because he was such a wonderful man, and I had fond memories of him. What I have learned is that grief sneaks up on you when you least expect it. Mine seems to be triggered by a song, or a memory. I will be driving down the road, or sitting in a quiet moment, and the grief hits. Not your "TV drama" grief with wailing and gnashing of the teeth, but quiet tears and pain in my heart. Missing him....the realization that we won't talk again...knowing he won't see my children get married..(or his)......knowing he won't see his grandchildren. These are the quiet moments of sadness.

Having to say the words out loud to someone who didn't already know. Having to say "My younger brother died in April". That is hard. It always brings tears.

My mother provided me with an immense amount of comfort when I saw her in September. We went to Disney for vacation and I visited my parents while we were there. She said that it didn't matter that I hadn't spoken to Brian in a couple of years. What mattered was that when the opportunity had been there for me to tell him I loved him while he was alive, I had done so. While we were growing up I had shown him love ( not always in a sweet way...after all, he was my bratty little brother... :-). But I had spent time with him, and we had good times together. I have lots of great memories of being Brian's sister :-) . As adults, we had spent many fun times together. I had told him I loved him and shown him love. She said THAT was what mattered. That was so comforting to me. Brian knew I loved him.

We visited Brian's grave while in Florida. We buried stones around his headstone. My two boys and I had all picked out beautiful stones we had, and took them down to Florida with us and left them there for Brian. Jacob had a big white quartz stone, Zachary had a shiny smooth black stone, and I had a beautiful tiger's eye stone I had received at a meditation seminar. We left those with him.

It has been 6 and a half months since Brian died. I am not finished grieving. I don't think it ever ends completely. My mother gave us all a bit of Brian's cremains, and the little box sits on my mantle with a picture of Brian and some mementos from the funeral. I see Brian every day. It makes me smile to see his picture some days. It brings tears on other days. I think that is how grief works. At least for me.

Time flies

2009-06-04T10:24:00.002-04:00

Wow, has it been 6 months since I last blogged?? Many things have happened in that 6 months time frame. However, I will not divulge all of that now. I am getting ready to leave the house to pick up my 12 year old son from school....springing him as it were....to take him to a Norfolk Tides baseball game. :-)

I am running for the coolest mom in Virginia award. I will take the 14 year old next week. Since the 9 year old is not really into baseball, I am going to take him to the Hannah Montana movie. His older sibs won't appreciate be dragging them along, so it will be a son/mom date. :-)

Blogging more will commence this weekend.

My emotions are running amok

2009-01-23T11:14:00.001-05:00

I have been having a very emotional week. Pride, satisfaction, hope, joy, sorrow, inspired! These are some of the emotions I have been feeling this week surrounding the inauguration of Barack Obama as our 44th President. I was GLUED to the tv on Tuesday, watching the pre events, the event, and the post events, including the parade. I haven't watched that much tv in one day since the 9/11 attacks!

The kids had a snow day (sans snow), and so they watched the actual inauguration with me. we talked about little things like Dr. Biden wanting to teach at a local community college instead of a prestigious university, how Mr. Cheney hurt his back moving boxes, a little about each president there, the Lincoln Bible Mrs. Obama carried, the fact that the Obama girls are about the same age as they are, etc. I was moved to tears by the sheer weight of the historic event as it unfolded.

Afterwards, I asked each of my three boys what they thought about President Obama's speech. They each had their own viewpoint, but the main theme was that they felt he was an "awesome" speaker, and that they were very happy he is our new President. (they are 13, 11, and 9). The youngest one really grasped the fact that President Obama wants to "reach out" to Americans and other countries.

Then, while at the gym on Wednesday as I was doing my hills on the treadmill, the Oprah Winfrey show came on. I listened to my music and read the teletype, and then she shows the "america's song" video. I listened to it through my headphones, and a few other gym patrons gave me strange glances as I walked my hills transfixed to the tv with tears streaming down my face. It was so moving, and so fitting! I was trying to link it here, but can't find it anywhere but Oprah's website. Please check it out!

I have been inspired by President Obama's speech during the inauguration, and have joined the Starbucks "donate 5 hours" campaign. I am going to work for Habitat for Humanity with the youth of my church to donate at least 5 hours of my time.

I am so hopeful that our country is at the brink of greatness once again, and that we can pull ourselves out of the slump we are in. President Obama will galvanize and unite this country, of that I am sure. And I am standing with many of my fellow Americans, on my tiptoes ready to jump to do his bidding!!!

The holidays are upon us....again

2008-12-19T12:49:00.003-05:00

As much as I would love for the holidays to be about family and love and peace, it seems I am so busy running around and am so hectic I am finding it hard to find time to enjoy the season! I just this week finished decorating the house and have not really even begun to shop. The children will be at their father's house for Christmas, so I don't technically have to shop until after Christmas because we are not having our "Christmas" until Jan 1st, but I still feel like a slacker..lol I didn't get around to mailing any holiday cards either. Oh well. I am off for the next two weeks as the schools are out and I cannot sub, so maybe I will now be able to enjoy the holiday season!!!

The GREAT waste of food in our public schools

2008-11-30T18:20:00.002-05:00

I have been substitute teaching in the public schools for a few months and I truly love it. I have been teaching in the elementary schools and it is both challenging and wonderful. the kids are so smart and sweet. Some are a handful, and some are not. Just like the kids who live in my house.....lol.....

One of the things I have noticed, however, makes me so profoundly sad. I have eaten lunch in the cafeteria with the kids I teach. From preschool through 5th grade. The amount of good food and milk I see thrown away every day makes me sick. We could feed so many hungry people with that food. So many kids order hot lunch and it sits on their trays totally uneaten. Not even a bite taken. I ask why they didn't eat it, and they say things like ,"I wasn't hungry", or "I don't like it". It makes me so sad.

Last week I was subbing and went to the cafeteria to pick up my kids. A little girl had not even opened her container of milk. I asked the teacher assistant if she could put it back, or give it to a friend. I was told it is "illegal" to do that since the parent had paid for the milk. A 1/2 pint of unopened chocolate milk went into the trash. I actually plan to look into this with the school system and see if there is something that can be done.

I wonder what happens to all of the food that is cooked and not eaten. Do they reuse the food in "leftovers", or is it also thrown away and wasted??? The horrible waste disgusts me, especially with so many hungry families in the United States and abroad.

Random thoughts

2008-10-30T10:31:00.003-04:00

I sit here wondering: was it a good idea to quit working full time? I am tearful, although I don't know why... We haven't really had to sacrifice much...we bought the kids new clothes last week (with cash), we still donate to church, we gave almost $100 to Aids Access care to help HIV positive and Aids patients, we even go out to eat 1-2 times per month, and my shameful indulgence of Starbucks has only had to be cut back to twice per month. We have food in our bellies and a freezer and pantry full to boot. Our children no longer have to go to day care after school and a parent is home for them every day to help with school work, or just to give a hug and a word of encouragement. Our bank account is okay, the bills are paid, and we even paid off a credit card last month...HURRAY! So why do I sit here stressing, and tearful???? Is it the stress of change, the worry the phone won't ring for a substitute job, or the feeling that somehow I am not "pulling my weight" in my marital relationship??? Random thoughts....

MY online store!!!

2008-10-30T10:19:00.003-04:00

I opened an online store to sell the breads I have been baking! I am very excited but am at a bit of a loss as to how to market myself in "real" world. I am making business cards and will post it here, but since I think only one person is reading my blog it won't get much "play"....LOL

The link is here: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6391606

I really enjoy baking and would love to be able to make some money doing it. I have given away LOTS of loaves to try to get word of mouth advertising... :-)

The web site is: www.etsy.com

It is a website for all things handmade. Soaps, baked goods, crafts, models, toys, etc. I think it is a great idea!! Check it out!

Doing my part for Democracy.

2008-10-08T20:33:00.002-04:00

So I have decided to canvas for the Obama/Biden campaign. i am meeting the group at the North Suffolk library on Saturday at 4 pm, and they have said I can work in my own neighborhood. I am really excited. I am also getting a yard sign and a bumper sticker!! YAY!! I just feel so strongly that this is the most important election in my lifetime so far, and although I have great respect for John McCain's military service to this country, I just feel as though he is NOT the right man for the job. And the idea of President Palin scares me silly!!! So I am going to go out there and take my smile and my positive attitude and try to lovingly encourage people to vote for Senator Obama for president. Send me good zen vibes!

Obama pride video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RV0_u3z3AkQ

More time when I quit working full time????NOT!

2008-10-07T09:39:00.002-04:00

So, when Karol and I decided I would be able to quit working full time I had these ideas about what a stay at home mom does with her long days with no children. HA! That was soooo not reality!!! LOL Although to be honest I am not totally a stay at home mom, I actually have three part time jobs that keep me very busy. Add to that laundry, cleaning, baking, and blogging and the day is gone just in time for the kids to get home from school so we can start the homework, chores, dinner, boy scouts cycle... As happy as I am to get a call from the school to sub (which I have ben doing every day for the past two weeks), it was so nice NOT to get a call today so I can catch up on all of the things that need to be done. So today is catch up day. :-) All the little things like, charge Jake's Ipod, download music for it, wash the dog, Boy Scout popcorn spreadsheets, washing linens, etc, etc, etc......lol We'll see how much I actually get done. I have high aspirations. May be I should stop blogging and get busy..........

Amish Friendship Bread

2008-10-05T14:55:00.003-04:00

So in my quest to find ever and ever more ways to earn money from home I have come up with a plan....Amish Friendship bread. I love baking it (it on requires a day every few days and produces many loaves per batch), and I am experimenting with different flavors all the time. So my idea was to bake and freeze many different flavored loaves and then sell them at Arts and Crafts fairs. Then I met a young lady named Claire who works at a web site where you can buy handmade crafts, artwork and edibles among other things. Everything on there is "Crafty", and she said she would help me create an "online" store to sell my breads. So now I am trying to think of a catchy "name" for my store (breads). I like "Healthy Hearth Breads", I also "Namaste Baker", "Kacey's kitchen",.... I am in the market for ideas.... Any suggestions are welcome!

VOTE!

2008-10-04T11:05:00.003-04:00

So I saw this video on a friend's blog, (Down the road less traveled) and thought it was so cool I would add it to mine. I really don't know if anyone is reading my blog, but someone may stumble across it, and this message is too important not to post. There is adult language in the video, so make sure the kids are not around.

Fighting the Veterans Administration! sigh....

2008-09-30T10:24:00.003-04:00

So my four year battle with the Veterans' administration to receive compensation pay continues....sigh.....

I have these horrible itchy bumps on both of my upper arms from anthrax shots I received in order to deploy to Bahrain for Operation Iraqi Freedom. I developed these bumps, but like a dummy, I never had it documented in my medical record. Probably because my desk was next to the flight surgeon's desk, and he would just take care of me "off the record". DUMB of me! Anyway, the VA has been denying me disability for the past three years. Well, I finally got a dermatologist and the corpsman I worked with to write statements so I could resubmit to the VA. I was sent to see a civilian doctor (paid of course by the VA) to evaluate my bumps. He agreed with me that the bumps were "DEFINITELY caused by immunizations". I was thrilled. Lo and behold in three months the letter came back from the VA with a deniald because the doctor said I had "acne" on my arms....AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!! So, I called the doctors office (a few days later so I could calm down), to ask why he had lied about my condition. The office manager says to me.. "Oh Ms Rood, that is my fault, you see, we get a template, and your condition was not on it, so I marked what I thought was best". WHAT???? She isn't even a medical person. She is the office ADMINISTRATOR!!! So, she promised me that if I request to see that doctor again, she will make sure to mark down the right thing. Thanks alot lady!! NOW I have to go back to the VA, reopen my case by making an appeal, resubmit ALL the paperwork, wait two to three months for the VA to send me to the doctor, and then wait another three months for my case to be decided. Did I yet say AAARRRGGGHHHHH???? I have come to the conclusion that the VA denies people routinely, without thought or merit, because they figure by now, someone like me would give up and they could save some dollars. NOT ME! I will reopen my case and fight on! If nothing else, for every time someone says to me: "why do you have those bruises on your arms?" FIGHT ON!!

Blogging

2008-09-27T15:39:00.002-04:00

I have recently become a part time worker and a part time stay at home mom. I was a full time stay at home mom over the summer, but decided to work part time when the kids went back to school. So I have decided to substitute teach so I would be home when the kids are home and would have the flexibility to say "no, I can't work today." I have been reading the blogs of some of my friends and thought I might to blog as well. We will see how it goes.......